It’s better than chocolate, or is it?
Hello Lovelies and welcome to our Lovehoney advent calendar review!
If you’ve been following our Kinkmas countdown, you’ll know that I promised a review at the end. But now that it’s all over, what was our opinion on the Lovehoney 12 Day “Discover Romance” advent calendar, Was it all really worth it? Here’s our honest reflections, but first…
Who is Lovehoney?
Founded in the early 2000s by Neal Slateford and Richard Longhurst in Bath, UK, Lovehoney started as a small online retailer with a quietly radical idea: sex didn’t need to be secretive or shame-laden. Fast-forward a couple of decades and they’re no longer just a retailer, they’re a global powerhouse in sexual happiness — “the sexual happiness people.”
Lovehoney’s success isn’t built on shock value or sleaze: it’s built on clarity, trust, and treating adults like adults. Lovehoney’s sex guides are a cornerstone of that approach: practical, accessible, and refreshingly free of judgement. They don’t assume ignorance either, nor do they perform expertise at you. They simply make information available — and that alone is quietly revolutionary.
And then there’s the Lovehoney community. Not a forum — the forum. The Lovehoney Forum is a living, breathing community where people share experiences, ask questions and learn from one another in a space that feels safe, informed, and genuinely welcoming. It’s also home to initiatives like their Sex Toy Tester Programme, a brilliant example of how Lovehoney centres real voices, real bodies, and real feedback.
So in short, Lovehoney didn’t become a powerhouse by shouting about sex. They did it by normalising it, and inviting everyone else to join the conversation.
Lovehoney’s Advent Calendars At A Glance
When December rolls around, Lovehoney goes all in with Advent calendars that understand one crucial truth: anticipation is half the fun. Their range isn’t vague or apologetic — it’s confidently designed and unapologetically about pleasure.
The “Discover Romance” advent calendar is your flirty slow burn, think connection, teasing, and shared exploration — perfect for couples who want December to feel intentional, intimate, and just a little mischievous. It’s less “rip your clothes off” and more “lean in closer and see what happens next.”
Then there’s the “Indulge In Pleasure” advent calendar, which does exactly what it says on the (very pretty) box. This one is bolder, more decadent, and firmly focused on self-pleasure. It’s indulgent, playful, and designed for people who know that treating themselves isn’t selfish — it’s seasonal.
For those who want the full festive takeover, Lovehoney’s 24-day calendars turn the entire month into a countdown of escalating fun, with toys and treats that build curiosity door by door. Shorter 12-day options exist for the budget-restricted and the commitment-shy, but they still pack plenty of sexy surprises!
Lovehoney’s 12 Day “Discover Romance” Advent Calendar: Our Impressions
When you open your advent calendar two leaflets fall out — a quick-start guide and a safety guide — which provide you with some guidance and safety information. We didn’t look at those right away though, we don’t want to ruin any surprises!
We liked the gold foil details on the external box and boxes; they add a touch of luxury to something that might otherwise feel a bit garish without it. The different patterns on each box are a nice touch too, and we especially loved the gentle guidance on each box that gives you an idea for what to do with that gift. Nice!
Only one little niggle with the packaging: some items — like the bullet vibrator and crystal butt plug — were wrapped nicely in gift wrap, and others — like the massager and wand sleeve — were stuffed into boxes with a bit of tissue paper at the end. Neither is wrong, but it fee ls like the packaging department gave up halfway through.
What’s Inside? Our Top Three Gifts
1. Lovehoney 10 Function Gold Bullet Vibrator
This was our gold-star, mutually-appointed winner. With strong vibrations and a variety of patterns, we agreed that this bullet vibrator is the absolute powerhouse of the advent calendar. So good in fact, that for us, box 1 even outranked box 12!
2. Body Massager
Sure it’s not especially sexy, but for us, this body massager is just superb for kneading out all of those aches and pains. Master especially likes it, and I like it as it provides me with a great way to deliver a massage without risking hand cramp. So it’s accessible romance, in its own way!
3. Lovehoney Satin Blindfold
I love this thing, even more than the one I bought directly from the store — It’s silky smooth, padded and comfortable to wear, and it’s completely blackout too! I was going to go with the silky restraints for our number three but I think the blindfold wins by a landslide. If I have to choose between being blindfolded or being restrained, I’m going with the former!
And The Worst…
1. Lovehoney Vanilla Massage Oil
Where is the vanilla at? Seriously? I know us kinky folk are supposed to be almost allergic to anything considered vanilla, but if a massage oil is supposed to smell of vanilla then I want it to do so. This oil didn’t though. In fact, it doesn’t really smell of anything at all. Very disappointing.
2. Lay-On Vibrator Sleeve
I’d never used a lay-on vibrator before this calendar so I was very excited for it, but sadly I found it a huge let-down. I was really hoping that it would be something else to deliver me some amazing, alternative-to-suction orgasms but… nope!
3. Crystal Butt Plug
Look, I’m probably being picky here, but it’s my blog so it’s my rules. I really liked this plug when it arrived — that jewel colour is glorious — but it’s kind of on the large and hard side for a beginner and I don’t find that shape particularly beginner-friendly either — something like this set is better. I’m all for trying out a bit of anal play, but a metal butt plug does feel like a bit of a shove in at the deep end. Maybe just a small, slimline plug would be better? We know you sell them, Lovehoney. .
The Verdict: Would You But A Lovehoney Calendar Again?
There are two parts to this answer, so I’m going to give you summary first, then the final star score.
Would we buy an advent calendar again? No, but that’s not really because there’s anything wrong with them. They don’t change much (if at all) each year, so once you’ve bought one, you’ve kind of done the whole “Lovehoney Advent Calendar” thing. Plus, they’re not cheap, and just like Master Levi said, “£99 for 12 days, and on three of those days you get a silicone accessory for the bullet vibrator from box one?”. That’s irrefutable logic. They’re okay, but to be honest, I think I’d rather save up and buy what I want, when I want it.
So what about the star review? Well, given things like the massage oil and the glycerin-containing lubricant, I expected the star rating to be as low as 2.5-3. However, when I did the maths, I was actually surprised. The grand total star score of all of gifts was 43.5. Divide that by 12 and round up a touch for the nice packaging? We’re awarding the Lovehoney 12 Day “Discover Romance” advent calendar a very reasonable 4/5 stars.
That’s it from me for this post. Have you ever bought a sex toy advent calendar before? Leave a comment below or read more sex toy review posts!
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Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun,
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