My Mission

Here at Ten Shades & Me, I set out with five objectives in mind:

1. To work towards destigmatizing sex and sexual practices.

The idea that sex is shameful or wrong is wrong in itself. Sex is natural and many other species of animals have sex for reproduction as well as for pleasure. Whilst not aspiring to create pornographic content on my blog, I aim to write about my life and the sexual practices that I enjoy in a way that titillates, captivates, educates and shares.

2. To promote sustainable, affordable and accessible kink for all.

Disabled people know how it feels to be segregated by society. Whether it's due to limitations, stigma or even our financial situation alone, there have been numerous occasions when disabled people cannot access and enjoy the same facilities and services as our able-bodied peers. I firmly believe that anyone who wants access should be able to access to a safe, friendly and accepting BDSM community.

Furthermore, there are very few sex toys on the market which accommodate to a disabled audience, and the ones that do are not receiving nearly enough publicity in favour of toys made for the general public. I believe that manufacturers in the adult industry could do much more to create toys that accommodate to an audience with physical limitations, and without compromising on style or quality.

3. To promote an acceptance of BDSM dynamics as part of the wider sexuality spectrum.

In today’s world, acceptance is encouraged and marginalisation is frowned upon. It is now criminal to attack or visibly exclude another person based upon their race, religion, gender or sexuality and yet still, kinky people are not included within that category, even if we too held a prominent part in the Stonewall riots. For many in the BDSM community, kink is not merely something that we do in the bedroom, it is an innate part of who we are. One of my aims here at Ten Shades & Me is to demonstrate that kinky people can still lead perfectly normal-looking lives and behave as decent and moral members of society, regardless of our relationship styles and private proclivities.

4. To advise and inspire others interested in BDSM through peer-to-peer relationships, rather than “expert” knowledge. 

One of my biggest frustrations in the BDSM community comes in the term “expert”. With no consensus on materials to study to become an expert and no recognised qualifications to say that you've passed, I firmly believe that the true experts are the individuals who have lived the lifestyle for several months or years themselves. Rather than calling myself an expert, I like to discuss areas of interest by calling upon experiences from my many (since 2006) years within the BDSM community, using further clinical evidence to support an idea where necessary to do so. 

5. Finally, I believe in providing an honest, accountable and easy-to-read blog.

Here at Ten Shades & Me I pride myself on the use of proper words, punctuation and paragraph structure. I take the time to construct each post and to write in an energetic and friendly way that captivates my audience. At the same time, I will not inject any extra energy into a post or paragraph purely for the purposes of selling an idea or product. In today’s world, much of social media has become about exaggerating in order to make money or popularity, sometimes even with paid influencers endangering their own lives in the process. All of the products and services that I recommend to my audience are based on my personal thoughts and reviews, all of the ideas that I share are realistic and obtainable and all of the photographs that I share are unfiltered and real.