How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?
It’s funny in a way, I think back to before I got married: I’m a tomboy, I didn’t imagine lace would suit me. But actually, it brings out a soft, feminine side to someone who thought she couldn’t be feminine.
My goal — as it should be as a submissive — is to dress in a way that pleases my Master. Master Levi particularly likes me in navy blue, so I intentionally bought some sheer, lacy babydolls in navy blue that are both pretty on me and pleasing for him. I bought some black ones too, because Master does have a penchant for Goth/jitter girls and I am a bit of a Goth.
Besides that, hygiene is important: I always prepare for Him by washing, though I don’t usually shave before play to avoid any irritation. I brush my hair too, put on some light make-up (waterproof mascara/smudgeproof make-up, the sadist loves trying to make it run!) and a little perfume. My signature fragrance is “Good Girl” by Carolina Herrera, a personal joke that is not lost on me.
Sometimes I wear my soft bondage cuffs too: soft, black, velvety cuffs that secure with velcro. They’re less bulky than normal restraints; ideal for when we want something that feels more sensual and intimate. I don’t wear a collar as I can panic when I feel something around my throat, which doesn’t make things sexy for either of us. I am submissive in my heart, though, and Master understands that.
What significance does it have? Again, it’s about pleasing my Master, as he wants to please me. Master Levi often changes his shirt before our sessions — a simple, intentional act that shows he doesn’t want to smell like/be wearing dinner while we play. I’m attentive to what my Master wants and desires of me, and I strive to meet his wishes.
How To Choose Your Outfit for BDSM Play
I’ve been on the flipside of this scenario, and it was awkward to say the least. I tend to go more for eveningwear/lingerie, but my partner at the time rocked up with a full PVC catsuit and gimp mask, thinking it would impress me. I give him credit for his commitment, but it was very clear that we were completely misaligned in how we both thought the evening might go!
You want to dress to please one another, but you also want to be somewhat aligned in what your style for the evening is. There’s also not one style of clothing to choose for BDSM play, so you might choose to wear:
- Leather
- Latex
- PVC
- Fetishwear
- Uniforms
- Silk/Satin
- Eveningwear
- Lingerie
- Or even comfortable clothing like jeans and t-shirts!
- Restraints/collar (or not. You decide!)
Maybe your partner likes a particular look on you? Do you know what that look is? Perhaps there’s a look or fabric that makes you feel particularly confident or sexy? What is it? Again, there’s no one look or style for BDSM, so explore, discuss, try things and find what works for you. Maybe you have several outfits and change them depending on the type of scene you’re planning? That’s totally cool too!
That’s it from me for this post. What do you wear for your BDSM play? Share your thoughts in the comments or read more of my 30 Days of Kink posts!
Just dipping your toe into the world of BDSM? Take a read of our FREE Guide To BDSM!
Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun,
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