It’s all kinky if you look at it the right way.
Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?
I think this is an interesting question and I think my initial answer was “no, not really”.
But then I stepped back and thought about it, and then I completely changed my mind.
So let’s take a look at some of the ways they can (and do) cross over:
Cleaning & DIY
I enjoy cleaning and DIY. Yes, I actually enjoy them. Even as a young girl, not much was more satisfying for me than picking up a screwdriver and building a flatpack. Whether it’s cleaning something, building something or painting something, anything that Master asks me to do, I do enthusiastically and without hesitation.
Also and for whatever reason, few things bring me more satisfaction than grinding Master’s coffee beans, cleaning out his stove top coffee maker and topping up the snack cheeses that Master likes to have every evening after work. If it makes him happy and/or makes his life easier, I want to be the one to do it.
Cooking
I love to cook for others, and what better than to cook for Master? I know Master’s favourite meals and desserts and I love to prepare them for him. Whether it’s a steak and chips or a chocolate sponge cake layered with mint buttercream, nothing says “I love you” quite like food cooked with love.
Writing
I’ve said this so many times before but I’ll say it again — it is because of Master Levi that I ever started my blog. I used to journal as part of my therapy, and I remember so vividly, my first-ever journal. It started with “well I suppose I had better get this fucking thing started then”, a testament I suppose to quite how little faith I had in the writing process. I shared my journal with Master Levi’ back then and before I learned to speak freely and directly, it was a way for me to express whatever was bugging me, or whatever I’d been thinking about. We still use the Embrace app, but as I’ve gotten better with my words, most things are expressed directly instead. Furthermore, and as I got better at expressing myself, I actually fell in love with writing — I learned not just to write and speak, but to write (and speak) with conviction, and Master, I think, picked up on this. So then Master encouraged me to use my writing skills to start my blog, in kink education, and through that I started blogging about BDSM. Not because of it, but in spite of it.
Self-Care
How is self-care kinky? Well, maybe for those of us with a naughty habit of putting ourselves last, learning to put ourselves first can be an act of submission. It sounds funny that “have a shower” or “brush your hair” could be seen as “good” things to do, yet any Dominant wants a presentable submissive, and all submissives should want to be aesthetically pleasing to their Dominants. So by looking after ourselves — ie self-care — as an act of submission, that too can be kinky.
Psychology
There are two components of submission, “active” and “reflective”. Active submission can be things like dressing in fetishwear, spanking, flogging, bondage, sex, or even non-sex things like domestic service. Reflective submission, on the other hand, is exploring why we enjoy these components of BDSM; what they might mean about us. As someone who really enjoys psychology, I enjoy the psychology of BDSM possibly even more than the BDSM itself!
Roleplaying
Most people when they hear “roleplay” they immediately think of sex, but I have always enjoyed roleplay, even in non-sexual ways — it’s creative, it’s intelligent and it’s fun! One of my most favourite roleplays — and it’s totally non-sexy (but totally practical!) — is that I “play” hairdresser for Master Levi — I actually cut Master’s hair for him! So from my old adventure days, thinking myself like Lara Croft and throwing myself over assault courses, taking on airsoft battles and climbing walls in the name of “fun”, to the modern day hairdresser or stylist, it’s not “kinky”, sure, but in a way, it’s still a part of my service to Master Levi.
Plus, the Dominants I seem to attract are the ones who’d quite enjoy an airsoft battle anyway, so maybe I shouldn’t be retiring my ability to navigate woodlands at a quick pace just yet 😉
So Where Am I Going With All This?
This is a small list of non-kinky things that have weaved their way into my kink life as a 24/7 service submissive — I still do kink, even sometimes in seemingly non-kinky ways. The common perception of BDSM — not helped by things like social media — is that BDSM has to be full bondage gear, at all times, and with proper use of roles and titles, and anything less is not really BDSM. In reality, absolutely anything can be a part of your BDSM relationship if you want it to be; it can be literal or purely symbolic, and it can be meaningful or completely meaningless (for degradation fans). Whatever it is, it’s your dynamic, so the only one it really needs to matter to is you.
That’s it from me for this post. How do ytou rnon-kinky interests appear in your kinks? Share your thoughts in the comments or read more of my 30 Days of Kink posts!
Just dipping your toe into the world of BDSM? Take a read of our FREE Guide To BDSM!
Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun,
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