Learning to love myself — without my clothes.
I grew up in a quiet and unassuming family. To some people then perhaps my parents seemed quite uptight, but on the whole we were no different to anyone else. I’d go to school five days of the week and come home just like any other student. But on Sundays, we didn’t go to church — on Sundays, we attended a naturist swim instead.
It wasn’t the first naturist event that I’d ever attended, but it was the only one that I really wanted to remember after being bitten all over by red ants in the sandpit at another club. That and the smell of the calamine lotion that inevitably followed aren’t among my favourite memories.
The first time I attended the naturist swim, I was incredibly anxious. I envisioned teams of slender, perfect, muscular bodies and scores of young people. I imagined that I would be the fattest person there and I would be deeply uncomfortable.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Most of the people there were my parents’ age, and they were just as kind. As I hesitated to take my clothes off, they offered me nothing but reassurance to calm my nerves.
“It’s always a bit scary the first time, isn’t it?” one of the men said. I nodded and with that, he pulled his trousers and briefs down as though he was getting ready for a bath. I looked, it was hard not to, but then something in me changed.
If he could do it, why can’t I?
So I did.
Very quickly, my anxiety evaporated, nobody judged anybody and most people chatted to me. You forget that you aren’t wearing a swimsuit anymore, you kind of develop a new swimsuit – a nudesuit!
Over time I became more bold and confident, even a little bit flirtatious. There were a few young men at the pool that I’d taken a shine to, and I was determined to catch their attention. Of course, at a naturist event you can’t be about sex – it’s not about sex and so you need to be very careful. Instead, I opted for sharing a rubber diving brick and making playful conversation. We were some of the youngest there, so it made sense that we all got along.
Before long, one of the middle-aged men approached me regularly — he’d talk about football and joke about how badly my favourite team were doing. We’d joke back and forth and then, I found out, David had a crush on me. It was go time.
Every time I saw David in the mixed sex showers, I’d tease him a little. I’d take my time washing all of the chlorine out of my hair, sometimes even washing it twice so that David had to spend even longer in my company. When we left the changing rooms to head home, I’d say my farewells and then make brief but deliberate eye contact with David for one last time before I left.
Maybe next week..
As it was, David and I never did work out, and much of that was down to our diffences in interests. I had no interest in his obsession with football, and he had no interest in my passion for BDSM. We texted for a while. but I’d drop hints and he just wasn’t getting it. Eventually, I grew bored of him.
Whilst the naturist swim didn’t lead to romance, it did lead to more confidence in my skin: I grew to love my body and I grew to accept that maybe I am a little bit chubby. Even if I wasn’t model material, I came to realise that I was probably healthier mentally, and even with some extra cuddle, some men still wanted me.
Realising that was incredibly empowering for me.
Ever since swim, I’ve had no shame about my body. I have no shame in walking from the bathroom to the bedroom completely naked or leaving my t-shirt off to do some housework when it’s hot. It’s my body, and in my home, I’m free to do whatever the hell I want.
Because of naturism, and because of the confidence and the love for my body that it gave me, I also have no shame about being seen enjoying sex anymore. I’m not afraid of how I look anymore, and my orgasms are all the better because of it. Sex and nudity are beautiful — it’s high time that we removed the shame and stigma that goes with both.
That’s it from me for this post. Have you ever tried naturism? How did it help your confidence? Leave a comment below or read more of my relationships & sex posts!
Until next time.
Stay safe & have fun,
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