It doesn’t matter what you want to be called. What matters is what you GET called.

Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

Both of my Owners call me some variant of Kitten – either “Kitten” or “Kitty” – because of my rambunctious, playful nature. I have other nicknames as well: Mrs S, Belle, Little Shit (thank you, Master!) to name but a few. 

I think titles are entirely personal, and really, even if we go into dynamics thinking we know what we want to be addressed as, sometimes that changes. For example, Master Levi started off as Master Levi, yet, as our relationship developed and became warmer and fuzzier, I often called him “Daddy”,  “Daddy Wolfie”, or sometimes even “Mister Wolfie”. In a similar vein, I know that Valkyries also likes to be called “Master”, yet “Valkyries” was a nickname I gave to him after he sent me Wagner’s “Ride Of The Valkyries” as a kind of “I will make you mine” warning, and instead of being intimidated, I went “cute! Have a nickname!” – he’s been “Mister Valkyries” (or “Daddie”) to me ever since! I still don’t doubt he’d love for that to be Master Valkyries, though 😉

Admiral Snookiebear came about in a similar fashion: Valkyries plays battleships, and he tried to be all Domly with me. Again, instead of being intimidated, I just went “D’aww… I shall call you Admiral Snookiebear from now on!”, and that’s the way it’s stayed.

More recently, Valkyries has started calling me “Cadet” – a nod to Cadet Ruckford, the feisty female protagonist in our planned-but-never-written military-romance story. I find that this military-esque language works especially well for my submission, under my “Commanders”.

On the other side of the coin, I started off (when I was a Domme) insisting I be called Mistress, yet now I hate the title – to me now, a mistress is the other woman. Today I prefer “Queen Elena”, bestowed upon me by Master Levi and later adopted by Valkyries. It’s also a nod to “Queen of the Kings” by Alessandra Mele, which I fell in love with back in 2023 after a particularly unhealthy relationship. I still am the Queen of the Kings – my Kings!

So really, it’s not that titles are good or bad. It’s that we can go into a relationship wanting to be called one thing, and end up being called something else entirely!

That’s it from me for this post. What titles do you prefer in your BDSM, and how have they changed, if they have? Share your thoughts in the comments or read more of my 30 Days of Kink posts!

Just dipping your toe into the world of BDSM? Take a read of our FREE Guide To BDSM!

Until next time!

Stay safe & have fun,

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