Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.
Oh God, there have been dozens of them. Humour in kink really matters to us though, so I’m not going to share just one with you, I’m going to share several. All but one of these happened at BDSM parties:
At one event, Master Levi and I were in the private dungeon area and he’d just finished giving me a good flogging and spanking. I’m feeling pretty floaty and happy so we wiped down the equipment that we’d just used (cos dems da rules) and we were about to leave. Just as he stepped away, Master tripped over the bottom of the St Andrew’s Cross next to us. Fortunately I caught him, but once I’d restabilised him my witty ass said “send me a postcard next time”. Needless to say, I soon ended up right back where I started!
On another occasion, and during a spanking also in the private dungeon, I remembered the meme I’d seen where it reads “if you’re kinky and you know it, clap your hands” – but the woman has her hands tied, so she can’t. The song “if You’re Happy And You Know It (Clap Your Hands)” then gets stuck in my head, but obviously replacing “happy” with “kinky”, a kind of self-joke since my hands are also bound but they’re bound to either side of a spanking bench. So instead of clapping I start tapping my hands against the legs of the bench, totally in my own head and not noticing or thinking about how this looks, and Master notices and asks me what I’m doing. I apologise and admit that I was distracted, and Master’s like “really? Then perhaps I can give you something to help you focus”, and before I can beg him, he spanks my ass hard. I definitely didn’t forget where I was after that!
A third, I got chatting with a fellow Gothic sub and we just… we clicked. Our Doms didn’t mind us chatting because we weren’t being rude or anything, we were just socialising and creating a pretty picture for them to enjoy while they too chatted. So then her Dom asked her to pass him something and she replied with “you have legs”, and I winced, and Master gave me that “don’t you fucking dare instigate this any further” look. So caught between being a good girl (which, in hindsight, would have been the smart move!) and being a bad girl and supporting my new friend, of course I chose to stick two fingers up at his implicit instruction and I shrugged and said “she ain’t wrong, though”. Hey, brat’s gonna brat, amirite? 😉
So the other Dom says to his partner that “perhaps you need some discipline” and Master, now feeling (fairly so) that I have disrespected him, he replies to him – without taking his eyes off of me and so that I fully heed the message – “perhaps they could both use some discipline.”
What started off with us creating a pretty picture instead ended up with us both being spanked on adjacent spanking benches and our Doms talking about how it could have been so different, how we just don’t know when to behave and how we got ourselves into this mess, then they started asking us whether either wanted to tap out first or whether we were both going to take it all. So she reached out a hand to me and said “united we stand”, and I took her hand and said “divided we fall”. We did lose contact with them in the end, which is a shame.
The last one was quite early into my relationship with Master, and when we were more M/s and Friends With Benefits than anything else. It was coming up to Master’s birthday and I promised him “a dream girl in rope”, which he said he was looking forward to, thinking I meant me. What I actually did was got a doll, stripped her of her clothing (sorry!) and used a ball of string to tie a full body shibari harness on her, with a tiny rope gag and rope wrist cuffs, then I left her on Master’s bed. I was told that by a narrow margin, it was my creativity alone that saved me from a sound belting!
Master Levi’s Favourite Funny BDSM Moments
Story has it, I can be quite… expressive when I am tortured. Master says some of the things that I have called him under “duress” are quite funny, ie. “fucking penis”, “arsewipe sadist”. I’ve apparently also made some amusing attempts at cursing him out, mixed with a strong plea for mercy. For example, “Argh! Fuck off with that paddle you sadistic fucking see you next Tues- Daddy that thing fucking stings and I would much appreciate it if you could please stop beating me with it” – whilst refusing to safeword unnecessarily because Mamma didn’t raise no quitter!
Here’s another example of me having a lot to say about his torturing of me: my dearly beloved decided to run a pinwheel over my already-thoroughly-spanked arse, and repeatedly until I broke my silence. Having screamed my soul out into the pillow, I eventually mustered up the strength to “fight” him full-on and said “will you kindly fuck off with that cheesy fucking pinwheel?!”. I have no idea when, how or why exactly the pinwheel became “cheesy”, but it is now affectionately known as “the cheesy fucking pinwheel”!
That’s it from me for this post. Do you have any funny kinky memories? Share them in the comments or read more of my 30 Days of Kink posts!
Just dipping your toe into the world of BDSM? Take a read of our FREE Guide To BDSM here!
Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun,
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