Less active, but never too far away.

This bug is weird in the way that it never progressed in any way beyond a sore throat, it was just a day of sinus pain, a day of fatigue, and then a persistent sore throat. I have had a slight cough but even that hasn’t been prolific. I’ve still had enough energy to do things. Unlike Master Levi, I haven’t been bedbound by it!

Yet, in spite of that, there was quite a delicious spanking to be had on Sunday, over the arm of the sofa as it always is for me. It was something I wanted, needed, craved, even. Master can read and understand my tells.

After our recent little hiccup, the Admiral and I have also done our own copies of the BDSM checklist, although we have yet to talk about them.  

I did swoop back into the Lovehoney Forum yesterday, after a consulation with ChatGPT on whether or not it was a good idea, albeit it was more of a flying visit than full-blown return. I think there’s a lot of excitement in that I might have come back, but actually, it was more just to say hello to (and torment!) my friends, who I miss, than coming back entirely. I’m definitely not hanging out as much as I used to, and I’m not engaging as much as I used to either because I don’t want to get into trouble for “flirting”. Besides, I have things I have to do now on my blog that mean I don’t have as much free time for the forum anymore anyway — paid things!

I’m still giggling about Hannah’s belief that I might be a secret Dominatrix though — a theory shared by many of my real-life friends — because I’m really not! I used to be, but… Ahh, there was always something missing in it for me. Some part of me didn’t enjoy it quite like I enjoy surrendering myself.  

I can Dominate, because I used to, and I do Dominate women sometimes. but that doesn’t mean I want to go back fully. I used to Dominate my ex-partner/metamour, N, but I kind of became her third Dominant while our shared partner L, kicked back and stopped Dominating me so he could enjoy the view. That’s not fair when I was supposed to be submissive to him too. 

So perhaps there’s a fear in me that, if I stepped into my Dominant persona again, I might find myself stripped of my submissive identity once more. And it’s funny because, for many of my formative years, I was told that I couldn’t be a submissive — I am far too dominant for that!

Well, to those people, I have only this to say. 

Outside of kink, I’m pleased to say that lately, the housework has been doing really well too. I’ve reduced how often I do some chores (I was doing some tasks way more often than they needed to be done!), and only doing them if they actually need doing, not just because a task reminder app tells me to! A lot of my chores have had “if necessary” put next to them, which means to say that, if it’s not dusty/grimy/messy/cluttered, sit the fuck down and leave it the hell alone! 

I’ve also fallen in love with the Flash Spray. Wipe. Done cleaning sprays. My home doesn’t just feel and look clean now, it smells clean!

And from all that I’m less stressed and I have more energy, I don’t feel so overworked and underappreciated anymore. 

I have been reminded though — by my sweet Addy — to look after myself, because “if you don’t then nobody else will”. I’m trying anyway, but it adds another layer to my submission to him: not just sex and submission, but compliance and care. 

I consider myself blessed in that way, that I have two Dominants who care not just for what I am, but for who I am — they really care for my health and happiness. It really makes serving them and submitting to them feel like a blessing. 

For the most part. When the sods aren’t winding me up.

The upcoming collaboration is coming along swimmingly as well, and Addy and I have now installed the app and are in the process of testing it out. 

Ironically at a perfect time, really. This new app has come along, just as our agreement to enter this dynamic has. 

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