And why sex is a terrible metric of inherent value.

Thursday daytime, I overheard Shania Twain’s “That Don’t Impress Me Much” on the radio. It feels provocative, or perhaps it was meant to be — I have to tell Valkyries about it. 

Going back some, Valkyries bragged to me about his prowess in swinger circles, and really, I was not impressed. I mean, I was happy for him, but if he thought that was going to impress me? Ooh boy.

And I think that, over time, Valkyries has come to realise what he can do with his fingers or tongue is not enough to woo me or make me want to stay. I value connection (and tea. Don’t forget the tea), not mere capability. 

The first time I heard the song on the radio, I definitely thought it, but it felt too dangerous. We hardly knew one another back then. 

But this time it felt like a calculated risk, a provocation — Valkyries would understand exactly what I was poking at here. 

He did say that it was “good song” and “quite relevant”. 

A little later, Valkyries said that he would leave the challenging of me to Master Levi. I cocked my head.

You would? How curious.

So later, and while we exercised the dog, I mentioned it to Master Levi. Not in a bad way — there really is nothing “bad” about Valkyries from what I’ve seen. But I’m a brat — I was worried I may be too much for the dear Admiral. Well, it has happened before.

“I’ll have to start charging if he’s going to outsource his Dominance to me,” Master says coolly, “a subcontract, you know?” he adds. He gives me a grin as though he is absolutely not apologising for that joke. A Building-person-to-building-person, kink-adjacent joke? Haha! Very clever! 

Admittedly, I snort-laughed. It was unexpected and… not exactly unfunny. 

But I knew here that I wasn’t on par with those two; a submissive isn’t on par with their Dominant(s). There are boundaries as to how much we can laugh with a Dominant. For/with, y’know? 

A new problem: I now have to admit this conversation to Valkyries, and that I’d laughed at Master’s joke — it’s only right for him to know about it ahead of him reading about it in my diary. Suppose it’s only right too that he knows about my “concerns”. 

Well, I’m cooked. 

Valkyries, the delightful… man that he is, opens up our group chat again, and he asks Master Levi about a subscription service — a “Dominance by proxy” of sorts. Master has a shit-faced grin about him, looks to me, then tells Valkyries that “I’m sure we can negotiate something”. I flip my phone case closed and decide to ignore them both. 

“I can’t be wound up by you two idiots if I’m not a part of the conversation,” I mutter. Master laughs. 

I should say here that this isn’t the first time that I’ve been “negotiated over”, and in some way, a submissive gets oddly used to these little power displays by Domkind. I won’t let them bother me that much either — I know they’re probably a few good nights’ sleep away from forgetting half of it, and they’re just talking smack here to try and wind me up.

Friday morning, however, I did have a stance on it. Master Levi has always held “The Golden Rule” — that if I wind up a Dominant, he won’t protect me from the consequences of doing so  (unless they’re unjustly harsh) — so I said that “it has to go both ways”: that other Dominants can’t “subcontract” him to Dominate me on their behalf. If they have an issue with me, they have to deal with me themselves (if they can 😉) — it protects our primary relationship from external influences.

Master agreed.

So, too bad for Valkyries — it means he’ll have to deal with me himself. If, you know, he can 😉

Fortunately, Valkyries and I did agree Thursday night that we’re both in this little “dogfight” together now. Gloves off, no mercy — let’s see what my dear sweet Admiral is really made of. 

Our little “conflict” spills over onto the Lovehoney Forum as well, between Valkyries, my long-time blogging friend, Spanky, and my forum “sister”, Stacy. Spanky refers to Stacy and I as the “DarkSide Dolls”, and I’m not against it. Just as I said, “everyone comes to the Dark Side eventually”– even Spanky himself 😉

Friday daytime, I admitted to Valkyries that I had wondered who is really in charge in this little dynamic between us, since we’re both capable of weakening one another. Does it really matter? 

Valkyries threatened to take the conversation to the group chat if I thought it was me. I said that “I didn’t say it was me, but is it you though?”

And so it goes with us. Neither fully leading, neither fully surrendering, but both absolutely loving every moment of it all. Both in and out of the bedroom.

Valkyries did say that we won’t know how this plays out until we meet, and really, I do love the confidence — the confidence that I’ll suddenly become some shrinking violet in his presence. That’s bold. A little foolish maybe, but still brave. 

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Until next time!

Stay safe & have fun,

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If you’ve made it this far, congratulations, you’re now emotionally invested. Go ahead and worship me properly. My writing chocolate won’t buy itself, you know? 😉