During the 2020 Coronovirus lockdowns, I’d be lying if I said that our dynamic didn’t go on hold a bit — dramatically, in fact. I lost count of how often the Google Home routine set in on a Fruday, only to have one of us revert the home to a “normal” evening, as though nothing was going on.

I wouldn’t say that other aspects of us were struggling, because whilst our BDSM dynamic more or less ground to a halt, we were still fine, as a couple.

One night, I read a friend’s post on exploring their Master/slave relationship. In case you’re new around here, Penny was one of my first blogging friends, who sadly quit blogging after the sudden passing of her husband. Wherever her journey has taken her, I hope she is well now!

Master and I aren’t Master/slave, and we have always considered ourselves Dominant & submissive instead. He’s never considered himself as my owner, and I’ve never considered myself owned by him. He talks, I listen, that’s about as far as it goes!

As I wandered around ASDA in my leather jacket and perfectly co-ordinated black face mask, I pulled aside to send Master the link. I continued with the shopping for a while and then checked my phone again to see what his response had been.

I wonder what our expectations will be?

I smiled to myself, it was the perfect time for a GIF:

via GIPHY

That’s not happening, came the reply. I shrugged, it was worth a try.

Back at home, we watched The Celebrity Circle final. That wasn’t my idea, but for the sake of compromise, I decided I’d le him watch it first.

“Now can we have that chat?” I asked. It wasn’t really a question, if we’re being honest.

“Okay!” he said, sitting upright and turning off the TV. Okay, I expected more debate than that. Now what? I hadn’t thought of that. What’s next?

“Okay, so… how do you want to do this?” I asked, I was half hoping for some of his creative input instead of banking on my momentary absence of creativity.

“Same way?” he proposed.

“… Yep, okay, I guess so,” I concluded, same way it is.

Starting From The Top

As I’d walked around ASDA, I’d already been putting together a few that I wanted to add: Be more enthusiastic about the relationship. Pause or turn off the TV/games when we’re talking. These were all things that I wanted from Master Levi.

Take better care of your hair, those were his first words on the screen. Admittedly, I’d always been a bang it back in a ponytail and get on with the day kind of girl, and and my hair suffered tremendously as a result.

“Oh ho! Shots fired, Mr S!” I laughed.

Kitten to open up more, no more telling me “I’m fine”. I grimaced, that was a big one for me! I can be confrontational, but when it’s about my feelings? I’d rather pull my eyelashes out with a pair of pliers — that’s how much it pains me!

Explanations As Well As Expectations

It’s fine to have expectations, but we found that sometimes, without explaining the why, some of our expectations seemed rather snippy.

Manage your time well enough to stop eating at your desk, I wrote.

“It’s not good for you, or your computer, or for us” I smiled, “plus your desk is in our bedroom, and I don’t really want our bedroom smelling like a bistro and café. It’s bad enough that dinner smells waft in there” I concluded.

Be open to trying more new things — Trust Wolfie!

“That’s hard!” I argued.

“Yes, and what happened with Atomic Burger? You didn’t think you’d like them, and what happened?”

“This isn’t about burgers, but those were good burgers…” I grumbled.

“Exactly.”

“But some other places are bad burger places! You know how ill that one in The Surf Bay made me, so my burger skepticism is justified!”

“Still,” he laughed, “you need to learn to trust me more.”, I sighed and shook my head. He still wants to get me into a glider plane as a sort of case-in-point, after Fifty Shades of Grey, and I am still adamant that both of my feet are staying very firmly on the ground. I do trust him. Mostly. Sometimes.

More input from Kitten

I looked at him as though he’d transfigured right in front of me,

“No more ‘I don’t mind’ or ‘you choose’. I need some input, Kitten, no more only what Daddy says.”

“But I do just don’t mind, you know me…”

“Well then mind a little bit more!”

Setting Your Expectations

When it comes to finding the plans and sticking points for your dynamic, it’s really important that it reflects you, not any other dynamic that you have read about, seen or know of. It can reflect your strengths, your weakness, your relationship sexually, mentally, physically, emotionally and so on. These are just a few of ours, and just as much as he has cracked down on me on a few of my imperfections, so I have got Master doing a bit more of the cooking, too — it turns out, he actually wanted to!

Until next time.

Stay safe & have fun,

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