The day is finally here. A few people have reached out to me and asked me to give this series a watch, so I thank you if you are one of them.
A few people know that I have a "sex room" of my own, which is not really a purely sex room, but it is nonetheless a large bedroom divided - with furniture - into a workspace and a playspace. It was created with my own interior design inspirations in mind, and I'm very proud of how my "Magnolia Room of Sensation" turned out.
But that's not why we're here.
"How To Build A Sex Room" Is the new series on Netflix. Featuring esteemed British interior designer Melanie Rose, it's being talked about with almost as much furore as Fifty Shades used to be. From amazing spaces, fantasy homes and tantalising tranformations, it seems that it's got a lot of tongues wagging. So, with two episodes now under our belt, what did these deviants think?
First Things First: The Sex Room Clientele
America, we love you, you know we love you, but we can't have that love without also acknowledging our differences. All of these transformations took place in homes of not-exactly-poor people in the US, several of whom had a spare room or a basement that they just hadn't made use of, at least until now. In the UK, rooms with a basement are pretty uncommon and here in Bristol, they'll cost you about a cool million. Ask any British working class kinkster what they would do with a home with a basement and the answer is nearly always the same - we'd turn it into a dungeon, of course! Let me assure you, that thing wouldn't go to waste!
The clientele were also, by our own admission, not exactly poor people. There was no Barry the car mechanic or Kelly the Walmart cashier, they were managers, sheriffs, salespeople, and so on. Sex rooms for people who can afford to have a sex room, if you will, and that's not right - everyone deserves somewhere to get it on!
Do You Really NEED To Build A Sex Room?
We have to ask a serious question here: do you even need another room for just sex? Like really, really, REALLY? That sweet space I mentioned above? We sleep in there too, on top of the under-the-bed restaints, next to the blindfold and stuff. Add some storage to your bedroom and if you have kids, do what my parents used to do and install a small bolt lock. Trust me, once they're old enough to understand what "bedroom gymnastics" really means, they won't want to knock. Heck, they won't even want to be home!
What Happened To Discretion?
Look, we got through Fifty Shades and a lot of people said that they were into some Fifty Shades stuff, but when Melanie had a spanking bench and St Andrew's Cross delivered, they were left out (and used for a bit) in full public view. Yikes! YKINMK, but whatever happened to discretion and not exposing minors? I personally am not into playing anywhere where there could be kids around, and that is solely for that reason - who gets to decide whether or not they were exposed to something sexual, and the harm it did to them? What about the neighbours? The producers and filming crew won't know who might laugh it off and who might torch their "weird" neighbour's car. Play it safe and be sensible, and discreet.
Where's Mrs Jones When You Need Her?
Call me a neat freak, but who is resprinkling the rose petals after each romp? Who is going to clean up all of those sex toys and put them back exactly where they found them? Who goes on the wine run? I give it a week before that spanking bench becomes a place to fold the linen or sip coffee, after all. Not only, but one of the biggest things that got to me was all of the sex toys just left out on display. Are we cleaning our toys before and after each use? Really? Thoroughly? And in the heat of the moment? Do yourselves a favour and keep your toys away somewhere clean, Twisties, otherwise the next doctor you see might just be a real one.
Melanie Just Kind Of Grates On You after A While
I like having a laugh, and I like having a sense of humour too, but after a while, Melanie and her builder friend just remind me of two kids in sex education for the first time. They're giggly, they're immature, they're just, frankly, annoying. Sometimes you want people to bolt down and be sensible with a given task, and it felt like these two might struggle a bit with that.
How To Build A Sex Room: The Bits We Did Like
There were two things that Melanie was keen to drive home, and for that I have to praise her:
First of all, dungeons don't just have to be dirty and smelly, they can be tasteful and cushty with velvet, faux fur, satin and any other textile than you can dream of. If you don't like the red and black look, don't have it, opt for wooden tones, cool blues or minimalistic and monochrome (hello, hi) instead. Make the space what you want it to be, to your desires and fantasies.
Secondly, it can be oh so beneficial to at least be willing to talk about kink with your partner. You don't need a full dungeon with stocks and a paddle, but even a sleep mask, some furry cuffs and some feathers can be a great place to start. Try something new today, and be surprised at what becomes a new part of your sex room reportoire.
There's plenty of attention to different ideas and toys too, which can be a great way to get conversations flowing, should you need them.
Over all, How To Build A Sex Room is almost exactly what you would expect it to be - it's easy entertainment, somewhat inspirational but perhaps fantasy at best for a lot of people. I won't be going out of my way to watch it again, but I probably will catch up on the series from time to time if I can't find something better on the TV. It's a cool three stars from us.
That's it from me, Twisties! Have you seen How To Build A Sex Room? What do you think of the series so far? Do you have a Sex Room of your own? Let me know in the comments, and don't worry, I'll show you mine soon enough 😉
Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun,