Because we can’t all afford a Red Room and a helicopter on stand-by.

With so many people gripped by the cost of living crisis at the moment, many of us are looking to save our pennies wherever we can. We have seen an increase in home businesses and people taking on two jobs to make ends meet, more people are borrowing items or selling their unwanted goods for some extra cash. But whilst we can ask a neighbour if we can borrow their lawnmower or sell our second hand clothes on Vinted, how can we make BDSM work on a budget? Today, I want to share with you some of my favourite tips for affordable BDSM.

Being a disabled person on state benefits myself, money is not something that I have a lot of. Master Levi and I may have enough money to get through the month without worrying too much about paying our bills, but we don’t have enough for a lavish lifestyle. Thanks to the media, there is a common misconception that the people who practice BDSM often live a life of indulgence, and that’s just not true. Most people can make their BDSM play work for them, but many of us do so only with what we can afford.

So with that in mind, here are some top tips to make BDSM more affordable for you:

1. Be Realistic

It’s great seeing kinky sex played out on the big screen, but how many of us can make that same lavish lifestyle work for us? How many of us have thousands to throw at precisely any BDSM equipment we fancy, or even have the the room to house it all? My first piece of advice comes in being realistic about your BDSM fantasy, versus the reality of your situation. Pop along to a BDSM munch or a play party and meet the other everyday people who are practicing real BDSM – it can be quite a grounding experience!

2. Be Real About What You Want

Next comes in deciding what you might want to explore in your BDSM play. If you haven’t already, I strongly suggest you take a look at the BDSM checklist because it will help you work out what you might like to try, and from there you can work out what you might want to buy. It’s no good buying, say, a tawse if you’re not into impact play – you don’t have to own one of every BDSM toy on the market, just buy the toys you want!

3. Check Out The Sales

I cannot advocate this enough: stores like Lovehoney often have great discounts and sales. You just never know what might come up that you might be interested in!

4. Raid The Department Store

Once you’ve thought BDSM in a department store, you will never look at shopping the same again. Silicone spatulas and spoons can deliver a considerable sting for spanking, and hardware stores are great places to pick up lengths of rope for less. Clothes pegs can be used in place of nipple clamps too, just make sure you use plastic pegs to avoid splinters — and don’t get pegs with teeth!

5. Shop Around

Have you heard of price mark-ups before? It’s so sneaky but it happens way more often than you might think. Quick story time: when I got married, everyone thought I must have paid thousands on my wedding dress — it was gorgeous, with appliqué lace, crystal and pearl details. In actual fact I paid just £225 for a brand new wedding dress. How? By dodging the designer labels!

Some brands will charge much more for certain sex toys, so it is worth taking some time to shop around and see if you can’t find cheaper toys elsewhere. Etsy is a popular choice for making great savings on BDSM gear and toys, just be more wary of the health and safety regulations of sites like Alibaba and Wish.

6. Check Fetlife

Don’t mind a second-hand sex toys and clothes? Fetlife has groups of people selling kinky goodies for you to buy. Whilst you might not find exactly what you’re looking for, you just never know what bargains you will find! You will need to create a Fetlife account to join them though, and you will need to negotiate postage or collection with the seller for a final sale.  

7. Adapt & Overcome

The harsh reality is that many of us can’t afford the BDSM dungeon of our dreams, and so as such, we’re having to find make-do’s and work arounds. From broom handles adapted and used as spreader bars to low tables reinforced and used as spanking benches, many kinky people are finding ways every day to adapt their surroundings and make BDSM work for them. We ourselves have removable robe hooks on the back of our bedroom door which can be slipped off in seconds to make way for vertical play space, and we once made an interesting tickler out of a bunch of short cable ties. Be resourceful, be creative, and be adaptable — and watch out for sturdiness and any rough edges!

8. Make Your BDSM Your Own! 

Finally, make your BDSM play your own! So what if you don’t have Christian Grey’s Red Room or Don Massimo’s four poster bed? Get inspired and create your own playroom! What matters is that you (hopefully and presumably) have – or are looking for – someone to go on this kinky adventure with you. Every relationship is different, every dynamic is different and so what is hot for one couple might be weird and awkward for another. That’s okay! That’s totally normal. Find what works for you and your partner, and enjoy your BDSM your way.

Bonus tip: Consider Hiring A Dungeon

Have you got your eye on all kinds of BDSM gear but not sure how much of it you would use? Why not try before you buy and book yourself a night or a stay in a BDSM dungeon first instead? Some dungeons have the option for you to simply book the space for a couple of hours, and others have accommodation for you to stay a day or more. Book a dungeon and go explore your kinkiest dreams, then decide whether you might want to save up and invest on exploring them again and again! 

Until next time.

Stay safe & have fun,

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