Ever since I first heard ASMR mentioned in an episide of Russell Howard’s Good News, I’ve been very interested in the satisfying sensation. ASMR, or Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, is a pleasurable tingling sensation that some people experience in response to certain visual or auditory triggers.
I remember well how my grandmother used to fold reusable cellophane bags when I was young. The sound wasn’t hypnotic exactly, but I would feel a pleasant tingling sensation in my neck and shoulders and I would feel incredibly relaxed. I thought this was commonplace but it seems that only an estimated 1 in 5 people experience ASMR. Perchance, I so happen to be one of them.
Now as an educated “Tinglehead” (someone who experiences ASMR), I find it deeply fascinating how often I see elements and suggestions of BDSM within the ASMR community. ASMR torture videos run abound, some ASMRtists brandish pinwheels in roleplay videos while talking about pleasure and pain. Others wear evidently sexualised clothing or show off their collars in their content. This has me wondering then: is there a connection between an interest in ASMR, and an interest in BDSM?
Coming Out Kinky: The Right To Privacy
Before we go any further, let me be absolutely clear that I have no intention whatsoever to “out” any fellow Tingleheads as kinky. While I myself may be an out and proud sexual deviant, I know that not everyone can be. Some risk relationships, homes, jobs and friends if they were ever to be discovered as kinky. For that reason, this post is not about who does what, so much as what they do. It is about speculation and a possible connection between ASMR and BDSM; an observation and a hypothesis, if you like, all rolled into one. Of course, any ASMRtists who would like to collaborate with me on this fascinating topic would be more than welcome!
Who Experiences ASMR?
As discoveries go, ASMR is still a relatively new phenomenon. First discovered back in 2010, still little is known about why some people experience “the tingles” and others do not. One suggestion would indicate that Highly Sensitive People are more likely to experience ASMR, though so far nothing has been written to support that theory.
While ASMR is regarded as a positive response, Highly Sensitive People are also more predisposed to negative experiences in life such as misophonia, decreased pain tolerance, anxiety and depression. Highly Sensitive People are more empathic and often perfectionistic, carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. HSPs regularly enjoy the arts, classical music, fine dining and other deeply immersive experiences, which may also point to an interest in both ASMR and BDSM.
All Sensations: ASMR VS BDSM
Where BDSM goes, one of the most popular activities enjoyed among practitioners is sensation play. Sensation play involves the Dominant partner using of a variety of tools to provide the submissive partner with sensations, ranging from pleasurable to slightly (or even moderately) painful. The goal is for the submissive partner to feel whatever the Dominant partner wants the submissive partner to feel, and the submissive partner consents.
In ASMR, the “ASMRtist” (someone who creates ASMR videos) wants the viewer to experience “the tingles”. The viewer clicks on the video to receive ASMR tingles, thereby consenting to whatever the ASMRtist is about to do. This then creates a dynamic between the creator and the viewer, not unlike that between a Dominant and a submissive in BDSM.
From a neurobiological standpoint, both ASMR and BDSM have been found to contribute to the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and seratonin. Many viewers feel relaxed after viewing ASMR, and subspace likewise is often regarded as a deep state of relaxation. Given this, then we could regard the calmness from viewing ASMR and that of subspace as being broadly the same. Hence, people who are into giving and/or receiving one may also be into the other.
That I know of, ASMR has not yet been used successfully in a BDSM scene. Of course there may be Dominants who have used it, or can induce it to the benefit of their submissive partners (or vice versa). However, I should imagine that the risk of having your partner fall into a deep sleep during a BDSM session might not be appealing for everyone!
A Possible Connection: Are ASMR And BDSM Both Forms Of Meditation?
For some people (including myself), guided meditation is not always enough to help us relax. In order to really let go of the day, we need to feel – we need to be pulled out of our heads and back into the moment via some sort of experience. Given that ASMR and BDSM can work to calm where guided meditation may not, then one has to wonder whether they are connected in some way. If both are led and induced by a creator of sorts, and with similar results (and to other more widely accepted practices), then could both ASMR and BDSM be forms of mindfulness, perhaps? Even a forced – rather than guided – meditation?
That’s it from me for this post. Have you ever tried combining kink & BDSM? Leave a comment below or read more of my kink & BDSM posts!
Until next time.
Stay safe & have fun,
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