It’s hot, it’s wild, and it’s completely natural.

What is the breeding kink?

The breeding kink can come up in a variety of roleplays, though firstly and foremostly it is one and the same – the desire to have sex purely for the purposes (or feeling of the purpose of) mating, of breeding. Sex in the breeding kink is typically a lot rougher and more animalistic. It often pairs well as part or conclusion of primal play or animal roleplay. 

Why might someone have a breeding kink?

Just like the Bloodhound Gang once sang, at our core humans ain’t nothin’ but mammals and it is a very primitive instinct to want to reproduce with someone we feel would be a good breeding partner for us. The breeding kink does away with all of the formalities and societal expectations of foreplay and dinner, of candles and soft music. Breeding is about rough, raw, natural sex, it is about getting back to nature and having sex without any barriers. For some it is also about the risk, the risk of having sex without any form of contraception and knowing full well that you could conceive. Breeding isn’t only limited to partners and for some others the fantasy might be watching their partner being bred by another, or watching their partner breed another. Men who breed are sometimes called bulls and women with a breeding kink are called cows, though this isn’t as common.

How did you discover you were into the breeding kink?

I’ve been on hormonal contraception for a long time but I’d missed a couple of doses because of a stressful period and Matt and I were both in the mood. We were fairly certain that I wouldn’t get pregnant anyway so I said to him “why don’t we let Mother Nature decide?” – needless to say, he needed no further encouragement! We decided to be sensible the next day anyway and we are a lot more careful about my pill-taking now too, for obvious reasons! 

Share with us a hot memory featuring the breeding kink.

Probably the above! It felt so wrong but so, so right. It’s not like us to not be careful but my God was the risk one hell of an aphrodisiac!

Also, and not really a memory but Matt and I have a kink now where sometimes he pulls out of me and doesn’t breed me. The reason? If I’m on the pill then there’s no need to breed me and so he just uses me and covers me instead, also keeping me ‘clean’ for next time he does want to breed me. It’s a complete mindfuck and renders me basically useful for his pleasure. I love it and hate it and my begging him to ‘breed me properly’ only eggs him on. He also loves how ‘deep’ I go mentally into my submission and he loves how I love to be fully naked when he breeds me, as though I’m giving up all of myself. It’s probably the deepest into my submission I go. 

Do you have a favourite toy for the breeding kink?

Maybe the bondage “breeding cushion”, though it hardly gets used. There’s a level of shame that comes with realising he no longer even needs to bind me to breed me, you know?

What advice would you give to someone getting into the breeding kink?

First, get tested! I know breeding sounds really fun but you don’t want to be passing about heaven knows what. Make sure that the only risk of your breeding kink is pregnancy, okay? 

Next, have a discussion on whether or not you actually want to get pregnant, and if you do, whether or not you plan on keeping the baby. Look, Ten Shades & Me is a judgement-free zone and there are some people out there who would want to get pregnant but then abort the baby, or even have a baby born from breeding. You do what you want to do, but if you’re going to breed, make sure that you’re perfectly aware of (and prepared for) the potential of pregnancy.

Don’t want a baby? Maybe consider hormonal contraception. Fantasy is a powerful thing and even if you can’t get pregnant (whether because of fate, surgery, anatomy or hormones), there is no reason you can’t enjoy practicing anyway! Breeding is really about natural sex and so many breeders abstain from using barrier methods like diaphragms and condoms, though there are no hard and fast rules.

Do you want to share your partner or be shared? Again, be sure to have that conversation as well. What might be hot for you might be a no-no for your partner (or vice versa), so never assume. Some partners insist on barrier contraception in relationships outside of their primary partners, and that might go against your breeding kink. Discuss, explore and see what can work for you. 

How do you make the breeding kink work, as a disabled person?

Mostly for me it’s about communicating what I can’t do or if there’s a problem, like if my hip locks out or my knee seizes up. As unsexy as it is, sometimes I need to stop and stretch out an achy bit, so being able to communicate that is key. Also sometimes I need a pillow if I’m too flat, or I might start overthinking something, because of my anxiety. The crux really is to maintain communication and to realise that what is going very right can also go very wrong and literally at any moment! 

Are you new to the world of BDSM? Be sure to check out our free Guide to BDSM here!

Until next time.

Stay safe & have fun,

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