Hello Lovelies and welcome to this “What’s Your Kink?” post!

I have to be honest, I’ve been holding off from writing this “What’s Your Kink?” post for a long time. I guess for two reasons: first of all, I really don’t like the way that some modern Dominants think they “should” act, and as such, I didn’t want to feel like I was encouraging them to act in ways that are not safe for them (or their partners!) right now. Secondly, I developed an anxiety about giving bad advice, and someone winding up dead because of me. Choking is a high-risk kink, and it goes without saying that it can have serious implications for all involved. So, if I’ve missed something important, please let me know in the comments so that I can add it to this post – let’s work together to make kink safe for everyone! 🙂 

Alright, let’s get down to business…

What is the choking kink?

The choking kink, also known as erotic asphyxiation or more coluqually, breath play, involves temporarily restricting the flow of oxygenated blood to the brain – it is not preventing your partner from breathing like they might do if they were to choke on a piece of food! It’s the height of control or being controlled, and today, we’ll be teaching you to do it safely!

Why might someone have a choking kink?

Whether you’re into choking or being choked, the choking kink is all about control and losing control. Do you enjoy having power over your partner during your lovemaking? Or do you like feeling completely out of control to your partner, willing to (literally) put your life in their hands? The choking kink can be both deeply erotic and highly intimate, after all, there’s no greater gift than having someone trust you with their life!

How did you discover you were into the choking kink?

We were messing about and Matt placed his hand on my throat, but didn’t actually choke me because he was unsure how I would react to it. I reacted favourably and said “please”, so, that was the first time he choked me. After that, it became a regular thing we did!

Share with us a hot memory featuring the choking kink.

I don’t think there’s any one memory exactly so much as any time I act up a little. If I sass Matt, sometimes he’ll choke me a little bit just to remind me who is really in control. He never chokes me in anger though, and he will always respect my safeword/signal!

Also, I don’t have a collar, but I kind of have a collar, as in, Matt’s left hand. We call it “Daddy’s collar” in this house because frankly it’s the only thing that belongs around my throat!

Do you have a favourite toy for the choking kink?

Well, only Daddy’s collar as mentioned above hehe.

What advice would you give to someone getting into the choking kink?

First of all, get clear about the seriousness of that which you are about to undertake. The choking kink is not just some hot, kinky activity to be copied from porn – people have died and relationships ruined because of some choking kink gone wrong. If you’re just starting out in the world of BDSM, familiarise yourself with some of the safer practices first, such as spanking, orgasm control or some light bondage, then come back to choking once you are more confident and capable.

Second – get consent, obviously! Never, ever choke someone without their enthusiastic, informed consent. What might seem like a hot, kinky activity to one person can be deeply troubling for another, and may bring back some traumatic memories. So, make sure your partner actually wants to be choked before you choke them!

Third, agree on a safeword and a safe signal. A safeword is useful, but in the event you (or your partner) can’t speak during a choking activity, a safety signal can be useful as well. It might be dropping something, closing (or opening) a hand or simply tapping out. Whatever it is, make sure you both know it so you can recognise it later.

Fourth, brush up on your first aid. If your partner loses consciousness from being choked, will you know how to revive them? In the event of accidental respiratory or cardiac arrest, a life can be saved by being able to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and/or CPR. DO NOT choke your partner if you do not know what to do in the event of a medical emergency!

Fifth, never ever choke someone if either of you is under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or in a fit of anger. Choking is not something to be undertaken at a drunken sex party with some of your special friends, it is also not a way to punish an insolent submissive. You need to be fully conscious and clear-minded to implement the proper safety precautions of choking play. If your responses are impeded by drink or drugs, that might not be possible.

When you choke your partner, place your hand around your partner’s throat and lightly squeeze on the sides of the throat, gently restricting blood flow to the brain via the carotid artery. DO NOT put any pressure on the front of the throat – the windpipe is easy to damage, and the consequences could be fatal.

Monitor your partner at all times for signs of distress or discomfort, if they begin to lose consciousness, stop immediately! Do not be tempted to “choke out” your partner – it can go from a kinky sex game to a medical emergency very quickly!

Be mindful of your body positions if practicing the choking kink during sex as it can be hard to gauge the amount of pressure being applied. In the missionary position, for example, you will need to watch that you don’t put your body weight on your partner’s windpipe or neck, more generally. In a doggy style position, you will need to agree on a signal that you can still see from behind. 

How do you make the choking kink work, as a disabled person?

It really is all about that all-important communication, and being clear that your partner can communicate and consent. If your partner is non-verbal, agree a hand or body safety signal, such as blinking, nodding or a shake of the head, and whatever you do – never, ever choke a partner who is unable to give their enthusiastic, informed consent! 

That’s it from me for this post! Have you tried the choking kink before? Do you rate it or hate it? Give this post a like, share, or leave a comment below. Alternatively, click here for more What’s Your Kink? Posts!

Until next time.

Stay safe & have fun,

All of my articles are free, but if you’d still like to say thanks, you can check out My Amazon Wishlist here. Amazon does tell me who buys gifts from my wishlist by default, but you can make your gift anonymous if you prefer. Thankyou for your kindness!