What’s Your Kink? Orgasm Control

A hand grasping the bedshets, white text on a black banner reads "what's your kink?: Orgasm Control

What is orgasm control?

Orgasm control. often called "edging", is exactly what it sounds like - it’s controlling your partner’s orgasm. There are various types of orgasm control, and people are into different types for different reasons. The most popular ones include tease & denial, edging, forced orgasms, ruined orgasms and orgasm denial. We’ll discuss each type and why they might interest you below. 

Why might someone be into orgasm control?

As I was just saying, the reasons that people get into orgasm control vary almost as much as the people themselves, and this is why you really need to have a discussion about what type of orgasm control you may be into. As a submissive then I enjoy edging, because it feels like a way to allow my partner to enjoy me for longer, I also like forced orgasms for the loss of control over my body. However, if I switch it up then I love ruining orgasms, I love taking my partner to the point where they can no longer resist me, even if I’ve stopped stimulating them. It’s an incredibly powerful feeling, and an extremely intense, sometimes emotionally challenging orgasm for them.  Having your partner beg when you take orgasms away entirely can be very powerful too! 

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How did you discover you were into orgasm control?

I think it started off during my Dominant days, I had a submissive man who used to love performing for me online and I always got a huge satisfaction out of telling him what to do. I used to love telling him that he couldn’t cum, to wait for a bit or to take his hands away and just watch as his cock spurted and leaked cum for me, and knowing that the more he tried to resist it, usually the harder he’d cum. 

After that I started introducing edging with other partners, and I should say here that is definitely not only submissive men who enjoy edging! It became something that I loved to give generally, as a way to prolong pleasure. All the while I had one guilty secret: I really, really wanted someone to force me to orgasm.

Sometimes I’d force myself to orgasm, and sometimes I’d ruin it for me too, just because I had nobody else to ruin it for me. I loved them and I hated them, it didn’t stop me doing it though. 

After that I discovered the joys of edging, of allowing my partner to use my body without making me orgasm. I’m a “one and done” kind of girl, so usually once I’ve peaked and been fucked then I just want to snuggle and sleep. I get supersensitive and everything stops working, so once I’m past that then I really am just a pile of jelly until next time. Anyway, edging allowed things to be slowed down and enjoyed, and built up.  What starts off as a ten minute quick bit of frisky fun can turn into a two-hour shagathon that’ll wake up the neighbourhood!

Share with us a hot memory featuring orgasm control.

I gave a handjob to a sub switch ex once and he asked me to slow down, so I did a bit, but I still kept stroking him and I started teasing him with my words. I kept building him up, then slowing down and saying things like “I best not do that, you might cum already”, all the while knowing that I was now fucking with his mind as much as his body. I started stroking him at a more leisurely pace and brushing my thumb across the head of his cock and everytime I did he quivered and came out with a bunch of expletives. Eventually I sped up a bit more and said “go on then, I suppose I can let you cum for me now”. He did, a good 3-4ft straight up!

A woman grips the bedsheets, suggesting orgasm

Do you have a favourite toy for orgasm control?

Probably my rechargeable wand massager for you know… reasons. It’s whisper quiet too, making it ideal for wherever!

What advice would you give to someone getting into orgasm control?

Make sure you and your partner have an in-depth conversation about what types of orgasm control you’d like to try, and why. Just saying “I’d like it if you took control of my orgasms” is not really enough because that looks like different things for different people. For example, I’m fine with edging and forced orgasms, but orgasm denial makes me pure hell to engage with, for my partner and for everyone else!

Try what you think you will enjoy and see, and maybe try the others too, just to see if you like them. Forced orgasms might seem a bit pointless but they can create a fun power exchange that can even bring you closer together, and enjoying some edging play together can be a wonderful activity for couples who want to slow it all down! 

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How do you make orgasm control work, as a disabled person?

The beautiful thing about orgasm control is that if you can orgasm, you can try orgasm control. Physically I don’t find that my disabilities hold me back from my ability to have an orgasm, but sometimes my chronic pain and/or my mental health does. Having a room that is ambient is a must for me (colder temperatures can cause muscle cramps) and stopping to stretch out any cramps can be essential too. Talking about mental health is of course important and really feeling like my partner understands my head space is important to being able to orgasm, and also maybe helps them know where I’m at so they can help me get there. Really it’s just about working together to make the magic happen. Orgasms are not mythical creatures, they can be summoned quite easily if you know just what to do! 

That's it from me for this post! Have you tried orgasm control before? Do you rate it or hate it? Why not give this post a like, share your thoughts in the comments or click here for more kinky posts!

Until next time!

Stay safe & have fun,

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