Not so long ago, I was inspired by a post by fellow blogger Pooja in which she detailed out a day in her life as a Social Media Manager. Although very interesting, it also had me thinking about my own readers, and then I wondered - wouldn't it be good to do something similar for my life as a live-in BDSM submissive?
First things first, let's start with an important disclaimer: Each relationship is different, and so as such how one BDSM relationship looks will vary greatly from another. My relationship with Matt is not as "intense" as perhaps some people would like or would want, and that's fine. If you want a more intense dynamic, create it, or if you want less (or even not at all), you can do that too! This is, after all, only what has worked for us 🙂
08:00 - My morning routine - For whatever reason, then I have some kind of connection between a simple basin wash and my submission. I think it relates back to a favourite erotic novel of mine, The House Of Maldona, in which the slave women have to work hard and fight to be promoted and to earn more priveleges, except that I have never sought any kind of 'promotion'. For me, a simple basin wash is about preparing myself to be of service without pampering or induging myself too much. Then it's antiperspirant, a morning face wash/scrub (I alternate each day) and my morning tooth and hair brushing (not with the same tool!) before I get get dressed for the day. It's uncomplicated and fuss-free, just as I choose to be.
08:30 - Breakfast - For me, it's always Shreddies, a tablespoon of sultanas and semi-skimmed milk, along with a cup of tea with sweeteners and a splash more milk. I never used to, but I make more of a conscious effort to sit down for breakfast these days instead of eating on the go. I take my supplements here too, which is another must-do, because being as heathy as we can be is all part of the rules!
09:00 - Wakey wakey, Hugo! - With some breakfast and caffeine in my system, it's time to get Hugo started with his day. First we put on his lead (our tenancy says dogs must be on leads in communal gardens) and head out to Hugo's designated toilet patch, then we come in for some kibble in his Kong wobbler - plenty of mental stimulation while we work!
09:15 - All the small things - Here I reshuffle my to-do list on the OurHome app, check our mailbox/ the local news, pop something in the tumbledryer, refill my water bottle (because not drinking enough water is against the rules!). Anything that only takes a few minutes can get done here.
09:30 - Blog - Be it writing, editing, commenting or something else entirely, it all happens here. I treat my blog like I'd treat a job and the law says I can't do more than sixteen hours of work per week on ESA, so I limit myself to three hours a day for five days, with one hour spare in case I need it!
12:30 - A pup break - He's a good boy! It's time for Hugo to go outside again and have some much deserved playtime. We play something that won't involve too much barking while Daddy works, like tug o' war or practicing some tricks. The latest trick is "chin" which has Hugo rest his chin on my hand - how adorable?!
13:00 - Lunch - It's time to check in with my hubby, and lunch is usually fairly chilled. We eat a sandwich and maybe a cookie or yogurt with some fruit, then have a talk about our day so far. I show Matt what I've done with my morning and sometimes he gives me feedback or ideas to add.
14:00 - Back to work! (Or naptime for me! Hehe) - Naps are an absolutely great way for me to combat the bleughs that come with trying to save the world, but not too much napping is also key. I only have a twenty minute nap, plus a few minutes to get comfy on the couch. I do love a "tingle nap" here- a nap with some ASMR!
14:30 - Housework - Sigh, it's the most boring and mundane thing ever, isn't it? But actually, I don't mind housework at all. I like making the place clean and cosy, and I love getting organised too. I also have some tasks that are a special part of my submission to my husband, and that I'm very protective about!
16:00 - Refuel / Take Hugo outside again - A water and apple break for me and another quick bathroom break for Hugo, then we're back in and carry on for another two hours.
18:00 - Walk 4 Fitness - This has been a new addition, but both Matt and I are now walking five days a week to lose our "Covid cuddle". We take Hugo for a lovely measured 1km woodland walk, where I can't be guaranteed not to make passing comments about sturdy-looking trees or shady, hidden spots away from the beaten track. I know, but a brat is what a brat does 😉
19:00 - Let's Cook! - Did you know that I have a routine set up on my Google speaker called "Let's cook!"? It's true! I do, and it turns on the lights above the kitchen counter so that I can, you know, cook food. Matt and I cook all of our meals from scratch, absolutely no premade sauce jars and packets here! We both love cooking, so we take it in turns to cook... with me barred from the kitchen on Sundays!
20:00 - Time to eat - Yeah, okay, so we are TV dinner people, and that's kind of really unhealthy. Still though, it feels good to relax and pick at a plate of food and not have to make too much fuss about it. It's spaghetti bolognese tonight, with garlic flatbread and quality ice cream for after. Frankly, it's the only time that vanilla is acceptable in our eyes 😉
21:00 - Meditate/Journal - Again I alternate these two each day. Even if it's not ideal, it's just what time allows. I had a tendency to write long journal entries, so alternating the two means I'm not writing away my evening, every night. The journal is also a form of communication for Matt and I, so it's another part of our dynamic. I've been trying to get into some nighttime tai chi to strengthen my muscles too, given I've been getting a lot of backache lately.
22:30 - Get ready for bed - After a long day it's time for a shower, get into some nightwear, brush my hair and teeth again and relax. I also set up the aromatherapy diffuser with some lavender oil to help us sleep - don't worry, it's not actually on fire!
23:00 - Goodnight Hugo! - Have you ever known a dog to have a bedtime routine? Neither had we until Hugo! At about 11pm, Hugo can get quite growly if he doesn't go to bed. He's never bitten anyone, but he decides he's done with the day and doesn't want to be pet or play ball. After one last go outside, he hops into his bed, waits for his treat and settles down for the night.
23:10 - Time to relax - With the lights low, it's finally time to wind down. Maybe with some cop shows, and did I mention the snuggles? After a day of somehow being both simultanously separate and together we love to snuggle, which can lead us to...
00:15 - Goodnight world! - Devices powered down and TV off, it's time to turn in. Sometimes I get to sleep in nightwear, sometimes less, and sometimes nothing at all. Bizarrely, nighttime is another time when my submission creeps in strongly, perhaps because that's when I know that Matt is most likely to want to have use of me, sexually. In a not-so-subtle nod to the trust and safety that I feel with this man, I also sleep on his left side with my head on is chest, close to his heart.
And there you have it! Suble enough that it's still there, but not so kinky that nothing else gets done 😉
How does a day in your life compare? How does your dynamic look different? Let me know in the comments!
Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun,
Helen xx
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This was such an interesting look into your life! And thanks for the shoutout!
You’re very welcome! It was something I wanted to clear up because the media perception of people like me is often vastly different! Haha
What an interesting slice of your life! I admire the honesty in your posts, and you certainly did dispel the stereotype I had in my head of the lifestyle, lol. Three hours a day on the blog is pretty substantial (and awesome), and this is coming from someone who does a chunk of his time on WordPress. But yay to doggie time! Lady, my dog, is actually here waiting for lunch, which is in one hour. Doesn’t stop her from testing the waters though. Anyway, thanks for sharing this intriguing post!
Hehe thankyou! That’s certainly what I aim to do Stuart. I think it looks very different for different people (I watched a programme last night which probably would have firmly cemented the stereotype lol) but certainly loving BDSM is a thing, it’s not all whipping and pain!
3 hours is sizeable but it doesn’t feel it when I get into something, lol. I get get similar feeling to when I used to work part-time, just two hours per day, that I wasn’t doing anything long enough to make a difference. The stats, however, say otherwise lol.
Hehe Stuart they do! Ours was by our feet for any stray fries last night, burger night. I think I sounded like one of the Queen’s Guards with my “get back!”, lol. Thankyou for dropping by Stuart!