Originally published November 2020, last updated July 2023.
Today I am going to be diving into names, and how we got ours. If I'm honest, I go by many names so it's really hard to say that I am one more than I am another. Much of it depends on Matt's mood with me, or where we are or who we're with. With that in mind, I sat down with Matt this morning to come up with some of the most commonly occurring ones, and when they might get used.
The Names Matt Uses For Me
Hehehe.. Little Shit gets used SO often! I'll do something to wind Matt up and usually, he utters a "Little Shit" at me. It's said affectionately, an acknowledgement that he wants me to be playful and his demise is, in a sense, his own doing. I am his Little Shit!
More generally, Kitten gets used. Matt calls me Kitten because I'm rambunctious and playful. I pounce, I bite (lightly!) and I run away. I also like to lay on the floor contently sometimes, like a kitten. I leke getting petted, too!
Call it like you see it, amirite? Sometimes if I'm acting up, Matt will quite literally call me a brat. It serves well as a wake-up call to the fact that I'm not behaving in an acceptable manner. This one is definitely not so friendly.
QuEGOTSS (pronounced "Kwegots"), or "Queggys"
Hehe, I love QuEGGOTSS! QuEGOTSS Stands for Queen Elena, Goddess Of The Stipey Sockies. I have SO many pairs of stripey socks, particularly in funky rainbow colours or with smiley faces or dogs on them. My favourite ever pair were black and blue, that should need no further explanation 😉
Queggys came about on honeymoon. I was in one of my silly moods and insisting that I, as QuEGOTSS, am the boss. Matt shortened it to "Queggys", mocking the name and stripping me of my assertive tone in one swift move. Mean, but it stuck!
I know, right? Imagine calling your wife a dick. Well, he does. Usually, it's deserved because I've stolen his computer mouse, I've set his homepage to Barbie.com or I accidentally-on-purpose shut him out when it's cold and dark outside. "Dick" generally happens when I'm really toeing the line, which, you know, is quite often...
He calls me Mrs S because I am.. well, Mrs S! Of course I won't reveal my full name on here, but I am Mrs S. Mrs S generally happens pretty casually, in or out of public.
You know how wives have a history of nagging and just not letting their husband's off of the hook? Well, when I'm keeping him on the straight and narrow, this is what I get called. It's usually when he knows I'm right, but doesn't want to admit that he's wrong 😉
Similar to Wife, this is usually if we have company and Little Shit or Dick are sort of unacceptable. It's his way of scolding me, without being too obvious about it.
Daddy's Cute Little Cocksucker
Whew, this is what happens when he's turned the Dom Mode up to full throttle and then snapped off the dial. Daddy's Cute Little Cocksucker is when he's hit what I call "delicious bastard" mode. He cares about me, but not and until I call "red". We're both huge fans of humiliation and degradation play, so it works.
Most often in public and in company, Love or Sweetheart gets used. Wolfie is a bit of an old English gentleman, and "babe" brings us both out in a rash. Love or Sweetheart makes him sound like the perfect gent, which he can be, right up until he's a little less gentle 😉
The Names I Use For Matt
Don't ask, I really don't know. If I want something, it's nearly always "Butthead...". At least it's said affectionately!
I kind of use Daddy in waves. It might happen, then not at all. It's something that I struggle with ever since losing my biological father, because my anxiety likes to make me think that my calling my husband "Daddy" was in some way responsible for it. Daddy also happens more often in bed, or if I really, really want something. Hey, whatever works, right? 😉
Goodness, I've always said that if a Dominant can get me to call him Sir freely and without insisting on it or forcing it, then he will own me, but Matt actually managed it. I only use Sir in scenes, or very subtly in public, with an oh-so-knowing look 😉
Wolfie gets his name from his favourite Mortal Kombat character, Nightwolf. He created an alias with it for another game, and from there I started calling him "Nightwolfie", or "Wolfie" for short. From that, Wolfie stuck. Now, it's typically "Wolf" for short!
Very rarely, I'll actually call Matt Mr S. Usually, it's in response to him calling me Mrs S 🙂
Read the full story here!
Choosing Names To Suit Your Dynamic
There are so many names out there that it would be impossible for me to tell you which ones you should or should not use. Pet names take discussion, they take communication and they take trial and error. Don't call your partner "Bitch" if they don't like it, and don't call your partner "Daddy" if it feels weird to either or both of you. If you're going to go with names and titles, choose ones that feel right to you. Try something for a while and see if it works for you. Got something else entirely that you'd prefer? That's cool too! Be creative if you want to.
The Power Of Two Little Letters
Something else that comes up a lot in the BDSM community is the significance of preceding any name with 'My'. For a lot of people, there can be a world of difference between being called, for example, "slut" and "My slut". If a Dominant calls a submissive a slut, it could be seen that he or she is implying that this is the submissive's role in life, that he or she is a slut, end of. For some, that can call up feelings of disgust and anger, especially if they know that they are worth more. By preceding that name with 'My' (ie. "My slut"). it implies that the submissive is only a slut for his or her Dominant and nobody else. Some dynamics do involve other partners, but in all cases, that is purely with the consent of both, or all, partners.
Alright Twisties, that's it from me for today. Which name is your favourite? What pet names do you use in your relationship? Let me know in the comments!
Until next time,
Stay safe & have fun,
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