Originally published April 2021, last updated September 2023.
Good evening Lovelies,
At long last, I've finally got back down to the next in our "What's Your Kink?" series. I've been meaning to write this post for you for ages and yet, with various things going on, it's just never seemed like the right time. Well, at long last, tonight does feel like the right time and so with no further ado, let's get into temperature play!
What is temperature play?
Fundamentlly, temperature play is just another offshoot of sensation play, but one that focuses particularly on the sensations of hot and cold. It is most widely known for using pieces of ice during kinky sex and BDSM play, but just as you can have hot weather and cold weather, so you can have hot sensations and cold sensations, too!
Why might someone be into temperature play?
Like all forms of sensation play, temperature play is really about experiencing our senses. Cold sensations typically cause gasps and an awarness to our sensitive skin, csusing nipples to harden and become aroused. For some people who are ASMR-responsive like I am, cold sensations can also induce "the tingles", a euphoric and tingling sensation in the scalp, face, back and shoulders which comes in response to a sound or sensation. However, warm sensations can be pleasurable and rewarding for your partner too, even if only to lull your partner into a false sense of security!
How did you discover you were into temperature play?
This was actually something that Matt introduced, and being uneasy about food in the bedroom, I was initially a bit against the idea. I didn't want to have to sleep on cold, wet bedsheets, and so I argued for him to leave the ice on the bedside. Quite quickly though, I couldn't care less about the wet sheets. I giggled, I groaned, I floated in subspace for hours and hours and then I slept very, very well!
Share with us a hot memory featuring temperature play.
This one actually features a little bit of exhibitionism and public humiliation, so I hope you enjoy it. At a bar, Matt bit off a piece of ice and dropped it down the front of my top. The ice melted and soaked my camisole in ice-cold water, causing my nipples to harden and poke through. He then invited me to play pool, acting like I was being a bit of a spoilsport because I said I didn't want to, all the while knowing full well that I was just trying to keep my modesty intact. It made some of our friends notice me more, so in the end, I had to move, just to stop the attention and shut him up! I'm still plotting his demise for that stunt...
Do you have a favourite toy for temperature play?
Absolutely! My steel dildo. So good, it should be illegal!
What advice would you give to someone into temperature play?
Aside from our usual advice, first, and absolutely most crucially, never, ever go for temperature extremes! That's right, we're talking about exposing the skin to boiling, burning and freezing temperatures here. The idea of temperature play is sensation, not permanent damage. If you're thinking about involving ice, there are some important safety measures for you to consider first.
Before you expose your lover's skin to that chunk of freezer goodness, please wrap it up in a piece of kitchen towel. Doing so will prevent it from sticking to the skin and causing your partner any unsightly freeze burns. If you want to drip cold water on them, rather than using the ice, you can also hold the kitchen towel-ice piece in your hand, and squeeze. Let the icy water fall wherever you want it to.
Got some metal toys? Then you know what to do! Metal pinwheels, claws, even handles of floggers can be warmed, cooled and applied to the skin. Use your imagination and keep your partner guessing!
If you plan to go for warmer temperatures, only go for a few degrees warmer than body temperature. If your partner is bound and blindfolded, you don't want to shock them too much and scalding them with too-hot water would probably be just the ticket. Don't forget that "warm" for you might be "too hot" for them, and so it's best not to go warmer than about 40oC. If you're worried about using water that is too warm for your partner, consider using it to heat a metal spoon, which can then be applied to the skin instead. Metal spoons can be used for both warmer and cooler temperatures, and have the benefit of warming up or cooling down quite quickly. If the spoon is too warm, you'll also have better control to be able to remove it from the skin straight away.
Fun, advanced tip: Have you and your partner been playing together for a while? Are you looking for something to put the excitement back on the table? We've got you. With your partner bound and blindfolded, carefully shape a piece of ice so that it forms a narrow edge, then run the edge slowly across their skin, using slight pressure. Provided you keep the ice moving and remove it from the skin, it shouldn't cause any lasting damage or marks as the edge will quite quickly melt away. For your partner, however, it will feel as though you've cut them open! This can be a lot for some people and intensive aftercare may be required, but if you enjoy playing rough, this little mind trick can be rather fun!
How do you make temperature play work, as a disabled person?
Matt knows where not to expose to cold temperatures, and so he is careful to avoid those areas. Temperature extremes can aggravate Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, and so Matt keeps well away from the parts of my body that are affected. Besides this, clear and consistent communication. Matt checks in regularly with me to make sure I'm still happy. Because of my anxiety, sometimes I get too caught up in my head, and Matt can tell not only by what I say, but also by the way in which I say it.
That's it from me for this post! Have you tried temperature play before? Do you rate it or hate it? Why not give this post a like, share your thoughts in the comments or click here for more kinky posts!
Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun,
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