Originally published January 2021. Last updated August 2023.
What is spanking?
By now, most people know what spanking is, but spanking falls as one activity under the umbrella term, impact play. Spanking can also take many forms, including clothed or unclothed, bent over or over-the-knee, and with a hand or with implements, like spanking paddles.
Why might someone be into spanking?
Spankers (people who spank) and spankees (the people who like to be spanked) have such a broad array of reasons to enjoy spanking, they're almost as varied as individual personalities themselves. From those who enjoy being bratty and getting "punished" (though it's not really a punishment if it's what they want!) to those who enjoy the closeness and connectedness of a bare-handed, bare-skinned spanking. If you find someone who enjoys spanking and you want to understand why they enjoy it so much, you might just be better off asking them for yourself!
How did you discover you were into spanking?
For me, a lot of it came from disovering that I wanted more from sex. Sex was nice, but sex was also gentle. I wanted a man who wasn't afraid to get a little rougher with me and assert his will or want, and I think spanking became a part of that. For Matt, it was more of a simple matter of trying something once - and actually quite enjoying it!
Share with us a hot memory featuring spanking.
I'm going to share two stories in this post, you lucky, lucky people. One was hot, one was hot and funny.
Let's start with my ex, R. R was travelling back to Ireland, and I was really fussy about him leaving. Before he left, R decided to give me an over-the-knee spanking. At first, it was okay, then it started to get too painful and I tried to get him to stop, but he pushed me through that. Pretty soon, I hit catharsis and I stopped caring about anything. It was blissful, but it was the wrong thing to do because it left me alone to deal with subspace, then our subsequent break-up.
The other one was at a BDSM party with Matt. He'd given me a thorough spanking in the private dungeon, then he left me for a moment in the bar lounge area while he went to get some drinks. I was a bit far-away, but mostly okay. My brat friend Roxie came over to me, and we started giggling and joking and I was bouncing my bottom on the wooden bench and showing her how much it didn't really hurt. I looked back over my shoulder to see where Matt was and that was when I saw him, locked on me,, thoroughly not impressed and making a beeline in my direction.
I got the cane in the public dungeon for my crimes. Pain and humiliation, combined!
Do you have a favourite toy for spanking?
I don't know that I'd say it's a "favourite", but "The Bastard" probably fits the bill. It's faux fur on one side and faux leather on the other with an acrylic rod in the centre for added strength - it's not to be underestimated! When The Bastard comes out, I know my goose is cooked...
What advice would you give to someone into spanking?
First of all, agree on a safeword.
Secondly, start slow and gentle, and never, ever hit above the spine or kidneys. Always aim for the roundest, fleshiest part of of your partner's bottom, at least to begin with. It's the safest target for starting out.
Third, add a little more momentum and speed only if you and your partner are confident and happy about doing so. If they seem unsure, be sure to stay at their tempo!
Finally, never forget about aftercare. Have a soothing lotion to apply afterwards to help calm and soothe the skin, and remember your partner may want to cuddle, cry or sleep afterwards, too. Have a blanket available for afterwards, and allow them to come back from subspace in their own time. Never, ever leave your partner alone after a spanking. It is psychologically cruel and can do even more damage to your partner than the spanking itself!
How do you make spanking work, as a disabled person?
Really, it's about finding furniture and positions that work for us. I have scoliosis of the spine, so I really need something to lean on. I also have RSD in my knee, so spanking benches are no good for me as my knee usually collides with them and putting weight on my knee hurts after a few minutes. It's important to take your partner's needs into consideration, as well as your own. Decide whether or not you can make it work at all. Could smaller taps with a wide, smooth surface work better than full swings with a paddle or a hand? Could a left handed spanking be easier than your right (or vice versa)? Be prepared to get creative in finding what works for you both!
That's it from me for this post! Have you tried spanking before? Do you rate it or hate it? Why not give this post a like, share your thoughts in the comments or click here for more kinky posts!
Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun,
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