Today I will delve into perhaps the area that most people are familiar with in BDSM, the most popular part apart from the tying up part - the punishments!
Once again, I need to reiterate that for Wolfie and I, fun is at the forefront of all that we do. For that reason, perhaps it seems like I get away with a lot and I'm not punished that often. Perhaps that's because I'm not, but when I do cross the line, I'm always the first to know!
In our dynamic, and perhaps many other BDSM dynamics as well, we have punishments and 'funishments'. Punishments work well with brats because they provide the sense of being submissive and being punished, whilst not serving to correct any bad behaviour as such. Often, brats are merely looking to know that you are still in control in your dynamic. They may act up because they feel as though they have too much freedom, they may feel naughty and insecure about their position or they may be feeling affectionate and simply want to garner your attention in a cheeky, naughty way without behaving in a way that is completely unacceptable or as to cause offence. Having a funishment for minor transgressions helps to reaffirm the boundaries of the relationship and deal with any uncomfortable feelings (or share affection!) whilst still making plenty of room for both of you to have fun.
It's important to note that you should never use a punishment where a funishment could be used. Coming down harshly on someone who is merely trying to have some light-hearted fun with you is cruel and absolutely unnecessary. Remember, person first, submissive second. Never lose sight of the person you took into your ownership. If you're concerned that bratty behaviour is coming from a bad place - communicate!
For us, funishments are most of what we do. We love being a pair of big idiots and a lot of our scenes are full of banter with him playing (or at least, I think he's playing 😉 ) the evil captor, and me playing the reluctant captive. Wolfie knows that if he actually punished me when I'm feeling playful, it would scare me and break my trust completely. For that reason, here are some of the funishments that we love:
Sometimes, I do this really stupid thing whereby I lean across Wolfie's lap and try to steal the TV remote. You'd think by now that I'd learned my lesson, but wonders never cease to amaze. When that happens, he always holds me down and gives me a few playful swats. I always giggle, though sometimes it... progresses to something more. Some of my best BDSM moments have been over-the-knee spankings and my ex-boyfriend still haunts my memories, no matter how hard I try to omit him from them!
Okay, okay. I am extremely ticklish, and Wolfie loves to target my most tickly spots. All is fair in love and war though, because as I love to remind him, "you're tickly, too".. mwahaha.
Wolfie and I both love biting, so if he's messing me about, I won't hesitate to (lightly!) bite his hands and vice versa. We never bite hard, just enough to grip, though sometimes we give a light shake, but never with the intent of causing pain or injury.
If Wolfie is feeling really, really evil, my inner thighs are normally for it. That one does start bordering onto punishment.. kind of.. slightly. A masochist? Who, me? Maybe...
Begging & Edging
I want so desperately to put this down as a punishment, but damn his Dominant self and being so damn friggin' sexy. Wolfie loves to keep me on edge, and he loves to make me beg. Wolfie knows that his tongue can do wicked, wicked things and he has no qualm in reminding me. He's also been in my life long enough that he can read every gasp and tremble and knows exactly when to stop if he so chooses to, Sadist.
Now, we get onto the really yucky bits:
The Dom Stare
Ask any submissive and we will all say the same thing, the Dom Stare scares the hell out of us. I mean, not really, but we know in just a look that we're in dangerous territory. We can step forward anyway and put ourselves into Spankingsville, or we can apologise profusely and make a hasty retreat. The Dom stare is usually all it takes to see me quickly rethink the way I behave!
You know what... can we just.. not talk about the spelling lessons? I kind of feel like I'm going to be encouraging all of the Dominants who read my blog, and us submissives have got to stick together. No? Fine...
Spelling lessons are lessons in spelling out any word I choose to call Wolfie, normally at least three times, followed by a reminder of what I should be calling him. Normally he uses his hand to punctuate each letter on my bare behind, but paddles, crops and canes have all also been used. Now, if you think "butthead" is a common occurrence for me, rather than Daddy Wolfie, that's at least 35 good blows, and heaven help me if he decides to reiterate his point. Just mean...
How do you stop a brat who is running her mouth? You guessed it, and for us, it's no exception. It's hard to keep going after that, and if I do, he resorts to punishment #5 on this list.
Loss Of Things
I stole his computer mouse and won't return it, and after much negotiation, I'm still sure that I'm kingpin, so he'll take my mobile phone. An infrared mouse may be cool and wireless, but it doesn't do anywhere near what a mobile phone can do and it most certainly can't make calls to my friends. Guess who is suddenly forced into playing a fair game?
Not Being Taken Seriously
Oh my goodness! I hate, hate, HATE this one, but Wolfie has worked out that it's surprisingly effective. Maybe I start insisting I'm the boss or telling him what to do (we brats do that, okay? Not actually in a diva kind of way), he'll just say something like "mmhmm, of course, Kitten. If you say so". That's the worst! I tell ye! Treating someone like that should be prosecutable at The Hague because I absolutely AM the boss, really! 😉
Time Out To Journal
Sometimes, I shut down and refuse to talk. If that happens, he'll give me chance to open up and if I still refuse, I get time to write in my journal. I absolutely must write it all in my journal, and I'm not allowed to distract myself with anything else in that time.
The Golden Rule
In our dynamic, we aren't generally open to play unless it's with people we know and it's all agreed. With that said, my Sir had always said that if I was ever bratty to another Dominant and he agrees that my attitude does need correcting then he won't stand in the way. So far, I've avoided that one. I've only ever landed myself up once for a punishment alongside another brat, but in true brat fashion, we'll never be sorry for what we did 😉
Behaviour Modification in BDSM
Behaviour modification is the practice of having the submissive conduct themselves in a manner which the Dominant finds rewarding. It may only towards them or in their day-to-day actions in general. For us, behaviour modicication is not something that interests Wolfie and is therefore not part of what we do. However, while he does not have a desire to modify my behaviour, he does expect me to be kind and respectful in all that I do.
That's it from me for this post! What punishments do you use in your BDSM dynamic? Do you have funishments? Give this post a like, share, or leave a comment below. Alternatively, click here for more Life In 24/7 BDSM posts!
Until next time,
Stay safe & have fun,
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